Straight From The AVN Expo In Las Vegas

January 23, 2012

My girl Susan taking our friendship that much farther then ever expected. I proposed the idea that it would be cool if she took pictures of some porn stars holding a sign that said “Hi Fongstarr” when she went to the AVN Expo with her husband but I didn’t think she’d take me seriously. About 4pm on Saturday, I get texts with all this:

Alexis Ford. She was even once a Miss HowardTV model.

Kaylani Lei. Apparently she is mistaking me for a chair.

Abella Anderson and Sophia Santi.

And the best…Asa Akira. She sure knows who way to a man’s hear. She actually ended up winning 7 AVN awards later that night. Sad to say, this is what gets my rocks off at my age. Chicks holding a sign with my name on it. Screw it! 2013, I am making the trip down to Las Vegas to see this myself!

Capital Punishment

January 19, 2012

The capital has been lit red and gold since the 49ers entered the playoffs for the first time in a long time. Needless to say, San Francisco is ready for this Sundays game against the New York Giants. Rain or shine…the shits going down and regardless who wins, SF is going to be loud as hell that night.

New Amerykah

January 16, 2012

You know what I don’t get? Gaping buttonholes. Like the epic ones where you can stick a whole beer can in it. Every time I see one, it reminds me of a urinal at a bar. Like you see that 3 inch hole and all you want to do is get all your piss in it as if you’re playing a carnival game to get that $2 plush doll. What’s the fascination with those? Like people want to see if China is on the other side? I just don’t get it.

I think I might have sold myself on something that wasn’t real. I mean honestly, was Val Kilmer really going to be at Upper Playground SF at the Twixt exhibit?

I think I am more starved for celeb cock then I thought but alas, I was wrong and I was left with a crazy concoction of blood stains, behind the scene movie photos and one big ass fucking clock. Great Halloween type of a gag but I expected a little bit more professionalism from Francis Ford Coppola set team.

Stopped by super designer extraordinaire Benny Gold’s Beer & Bolt’s Friday to get some suds before supper time. Benny is truly an imagineer, not only thinking of ideas but actually making them into real life. And still, he find ways to give back to the public with free PBRs to anyone who asks. What a quality fellow.

The absolute best deep dish pizza in all of San Francisco. Little Star kicked my insides and left me with bowel movements that anyone would be proud of.

Finally saw the infamous Banksy stencil on Commercial and Grant St. in Chinatown. Really cool to see people trying to preserve street art in the…”streets”.

One stop shop for all your hipster camera needs. Lomo‘s has officially landed in the streets of SF a month ago with their full catalog hands on in store.

And quadrupled on some Haroshi X HUF X DLX skate decks for the collection. It’s the closest thing I can get to an actual art piece without spending $30,000.

The Year End Review: 2011 Edition

December 29, 2011

It’s that time again! Time to take off the pimp hat, put the stable to rest and see what the pockets are left with after a nice ho-down in the neighborhood. San Francisco has been cold as of late so let’s see if we can regain some blood in our boners and get a nice rise before we can sperm ourselves to sleep. This is 2011 folks! Let’s see what the fuck we I did…shant we.

New Jack Of The Year - Gangsta Gibbs

Let’s make this a running tradition and start with off music. My Heisman trophy this year goes to Freddie Gibbs aka Str8 Killa No Filla aka King of the G.I. I’ve listened to Gibbs for only a total of…hmmmm, 4 months now since that Jeezy concert since September and he seems to be that bum blood clot that I was looking for. His super powers are in his flow style. This dude can ride a beat like porn stars ride horse cock and it’s not done in that supercalafragalistic expialadoshus nonsense a la Twista. In the song National Anthem, he starts off pace walking in a park and then mid stride, the mother fucker Usain Bolt’s straight off into the chorus line. It’s a great head nod exercise from start to finish. Hopefully we can expect a lot more from the straight slammin’ artists as he seems to be getting scooped from all corners of the room from Jeezy to Madlib (though Statik Selektah compliments him best). 2012 looks to be a solid for him.

Topic Of The Year - Concerts

2011 was the year of the concerts. It wasn’t a a lot per say but this year has been the most I have ever gone to and yes, we’re only talkin’ 7 folks. Unfortunately some good concerts slipped through the butt cracks like Watch The Throne, Mayer Hawthorne and Erykah Badu but luckily San Francisco provides a great venue where I can surely find these artists coming back for more. All I have to say is Wu-Tang…Regency Ballroom…January 2012. Here I cum! Seriously. I am literally going to nut on GZA when he performs Liquid Swords. Wu-Tang is for the fucking babies kid!

App Of The Year - Instagram

A pox on me for talking about something that has been hashed on for relatively a long time in internet world, let a lone talk about something as trendy as a stupid iPhone app. In my universe, things tend to be running on third gear while everyone else seems to be blistering at ludicrous speeds. The thing is, I never quite caught on to these quick social media outlets such as Twitter, Facebook or Tumblr. It goes against the grain of what my blog stands by. While the world is trying to throw up as much information as possible, I am still trying to package, wrap and deliver my blog in a nice pretty pink bow. In comes Instagram. Something that is visually pleasing to my eyes that doesn’t speak in smoke signals like Twitter does. As if we were cavemen in the BC era, we can communicate through pictures as quickly as we can take them to share to the rest world within all a matter of minutes. Instant gratification really doesn’t get much better then this.

Photo(s) Of The Year - Random

I am proud of what I have accomplished with the little that I have. My Nikon D90 is no short change but I believe I have pushed it as far as it can be taken within the parameters that I have been given. It’s time though. Time for a change and time for an upgrade to really see where this hobby will take me. I feel stuck and the only way out of my stagnant skill is to get new equipment. Fucking crazy to think that I am willing to spend almost 3k just to post better pictures on my blog. So this actually might be the last of great shots before I no longer become a Nikon user. Sadly, the show must go on.

Trip Of The Year - Hawaii

No surprise here as Hawaii takes top honors for trip of the year. I didn’t comb much of the globe but this great state surely beats out the likes of L.A. and San Diego. No more pussy footing from here on. This tease of an adventure only defines my insecurities in actually going to a proper trip outside the states. Time to stamp the passport and go to uncharted areas to embrace unforeseen misfortunes. Brazil? Jamaica? Russia? We’ll just have to wait and see.

Event Of The Year - Bay 2 Breakers

The Bay 2 Breakers comes in defending its title once again as being the all time fun, drunken event that only the Bay Area hosts. I can’t convince people anymore then what you see in the pictures here. It’s organized chaos at its finest and I cold heartedly embrace the hangover that comes in later at 5pm.

Art Show Of The Year - Lush

Part neurotic art with a nice blend of buttholes, deep pussy caverns and a modern day jackoff booth, Lush’s art show remains in a category of its own as the most outlandish curation I have ever witnessed. I find his shock value actually succeeded to the general public in letting people know who he was but the irony is cold and unremorseful as he could give a rats fuck about art and more importantly…you.

Moving Forward Towards The Universe And Mahalo To All

I am not much for words but let it be known that as much as I might be eating the devil’s pie, I am humble for such an audience that takes time out of their lives to dip into my own. I am truly grateful and a nice internet thumbs up goes to you all for putting up with the bullshit. So no methodical salutations to 2011. It’s just time to turn the page and continue forward towards the unknown universe that we call life. To all…I wish you well on your new start.

Hollywood Swingin’

December 15, 2011

I know the City Of Angels is known for its star caliber, so I can see how people might be jaded by celebrity encounters. I am no pro ho but I still get pretty gassed up on the idea of meeting someone I have seen on the big screen, especially from movies I have seen growing up as a kid.

Upon my last days here I decided to check the Hollywood Boulevard and coincidently 80’s superstar Steve Guttenberg (with SNL alumni Jon Lovitz to his left) of Policy Academy series, Cocoon, Three Men and a Baby, Short Circuit fame was receiving his star on this very rainy Monday.

Also around the corner from the Walk Of Fame resides Kat Von D’s tattoo shop High Voltage Tattoo where her reality show LA Ink was predominantly filmed at. Tattoo shops seriously have the best sense of organize clutter and this place was no different. Just wall to wall paintings, skateboards, guitars and other odd memorabilia that are close to Kat’s heart. Kind of bummed on the visit because I would later find out that she was actually in the back of the shop.

Took home a nice gift for my self from D-Land…a Mike Wazowski coffee mug. LA…you were better then expected. I left you feeling like I spent money on a good hooker. The nights were fun but I am glad to be back home.


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