Two Sides Of The Spectrum

I was 18 when I had my fist strip club experience. It seems to be the right of passage at that age since alcohol was a little out of our reach, but nothing like supplementing booze in the form mammaries. I remember sitting near the center stage and surprisingly just laughing as I saw these monstrosities of women strutting their tooshies to 2pac and old Slayer hits. I don’t know what the hell was going on (and maybe it’s cause I only had a couple of pubes on my chest at the time) but I thought all these “ladies” were well in the 40’s. I am not trying to give my milk money to my mom’s friends so they can put it towards little Cindy’s college tuition fund! I want to see some young ass!

12 years later and oh how the tides have changed. Swap out the renegade moms and throw in the renegade daughters. Swap out the young teenager and throw in the 30 year old corporate goomba. I found out Friday night that I am as heterosexual as they come (or cum). Almost every stripper in there looked good to me and I had to tell myself time after time as her boobs flopped on my face that she only likes me for my money. Thanks Raquel for taking me for a hundred! Bitch!

My cousin and his fiancé were in town from Kentucky in hopes of progressing on their wedding. By the end of it, she came back with a dress and we came back with a belly full of beer and a greater knowledge that a group of straight men at the mall is pretty much pointless. The wonder wives beat their husbands now.

From strippers to wedding planning to a new born baby. This Sunday, I was blessed with being granted the title of uncle for the second time in my life with my nephew Ethan “the Hawk” Fong. Thanks to my brother for all the heavy lifting when it comes to kids in my family. I honestly don’t know how you parents do it.

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