A couple of weeks back when hell actually froze over in SF and Satan decided to stick his hot dick on everyone’s forehead, I decided to take my 8 year old adolescent body to the shittiest of all shitys….Ocean Beach.

Surprisingly SF beaches are like the sandboxes in kindergarden classes. A superior authority is always looking over your shoulder, someone is always running rampant naked as can be, and the sand seems to be some counterfeit gravel that doesn’t reminisce to true beaches like that of Hawaii and Cabo.

Thank god wine sort of looks like pomegranate juice from a far. All I need right now is a chillaxon under the influence charge.

Later, me and the Chinese immigrant went to my boy Jose’s house where we ate Chihuahuas for appetizers in the Sunset.

The pyro in me loves fire. First you set it….

….let it simmer….

….then holy six inch vagina, it’s time to throw another shrimp on the barbie!

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