BIG JOE RED SAID MY NAME

“Mister Fongstarr. What film is more important for you to film for? Tiltmode or Etnies?” – Jose Rojo

I submitted a question to Jose via Slap Boards, and it was picked. Yeah. ***Throws confetti in the air***

And starting now, I will be selling luxury handbags out of Hong Kong. I have been working on this project for the past 5 years and I now finally got things up and running. Please feel free to e-mail me for any personal discounts but you must first lick Derek and Gordan’s nut sack for about $7.50 off the original price. I will also stuff my own personal dirty underwear as a proof of authenticity so as you receive your high quality “Fongstar” handbag, you will know that it was once full of shit that consist of corn, sunflower seeds and trail mix.

Obviously this is a lame excuse for a late April Fool’s joke but the kicker to the whole thing, this site is actually legit and there is in fact a Fongstar Handbag Co in China! Look, this is not the first time this has happened before (as some kid try to play himself off as me) but fucking please, why on earth would anyone want to buy a bag named Fongstar! Don’t tell me Derek and Gordan sat in a conference room and actually thought of this name. My alias has gone back with me over 10 years ago and I don’t need it tarnished in the form of a woman’s accessory. At least name a dildo after me. The only royalties I would need is for woman to say “Damn that Fongstarr was good today!” Plus your website design sucks, your logo has a drop shadow, there’s a dumb paint stroke that crosses the “T”, your font choice was picked by a retard, and saturation techniques are pretty gay. I can rip a hole in your guys ass all day but everyone reading this just do me a favor and never buy a bag from these knob gobblers. Much oblige…..

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