Archive for the ‘Adventures In Wonderland’ Category

Short But Funky

February 28, 2012

We can often get jaded in the land of giant buildings here in the city. Things can tend to get pretty monotoned from window to window if you don’t look too hard.

The uniqueness of San Francisco is within the small shops that seem to occupy themselves in unfamiliar territory. Amongst your Guccis, your LVs and your Marc Jacobs lies one of the most powerful street-wear brands to date called The Hundreds.

No one should really be unfamiliar with this brand by now. I think the success that makes The Hundreds so long lasting amongst the many that have perished is the strong branding that has been embedded to all our psyches. When we think of The Hundreds…we ultimately think of…well, “is HUGE“.

Today is pretty much fan appreciation day for one of our own superstars of the Bay Area. Not only has Too $hort popped my cherry with porno rap with seductive lyrics like “pussy got wet like Niagara Falls” but he’s also made me learn that you can use the word bitch in a positive context. Remember, just because Too $hort called you a bitch, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.

“Fuck you and go support a Bay Area legend and cop my new CD No Trespassing out now! You punk ass bioootch!”

And a big thanks to these two for making my visit that much more pleasant and easy. Without them, all these pics wouldn’t have been possible.

Take Me To The Mardi Gras

February 26, 2012

Pillow Talk

February 16, 2012

Only if the term you hit the one you love were true to heart. Once a year, SF likes to throw what is called the biggest mother fucking pillow fight ever assembled on Valentine’s Day. Details are simple. Meet in the village square, bring your pitch forks and torches and hit anyone in plain sight who possesses a pillow in hand. It’s like t-bagging with white sacks except there are no testicles involved. Waaaaay funnier in person then in photos! So much violence and yet, I don’t think a single person was mad or got hurt.

Chicken Fly Rice

February 13, 2012

Just a day after Jeremy Lin decided to flex his two-inch cock to the Lakers and all of the National Basketball Association, San Francisco held it’s own asian butt raping experience as it decided to host it’s annual Chinese New Year Parade on the coldest day of the year. Nipples were perched and dicks were limp and all I got were these lousy shots and one deaf left ear. When it comes time to bring in the New Year, Chinese people sure like to blow shit up.

Back to this Lin character. Yeah, dude is Chinese-American…which I could give two pig knuckle shits to that statistic. It’s the fact that he was an ex-Warrior and his whole rise to fame is now coming through as a god damn Knickerbocker! I don’t doubt that the Knicks has had their trials and tribulations but us Warriors have been bottom feeders for last 5 years since our miraculous run in 2007. Plus New York already has Jay-Z for Christ sake.

This seriously could have been him. A king on his float with five miss Chinatowns all waiting to sit on his face like a thrown to his castle. Hopefully he’ll at least get some New York sloppy vaginas in return. That’s if he keeps it up (pun intended). Here’s hoping.

In the spirit of all things Chinese and in the midst of the death of Miss Whitney, I bring you this bowl cut fat kid singing a classic (Oh fuck…he’s Taiwanese).

She Blinded Me With Science

January 30, 2012